Its changing for the better finally...mostly.

So all these stupid feelings that I've had about this guy are better now. We finally talked...he messaged me. And I was like praying that he would. I mean we always said no matter what we'd still be friends...but I felt like he didn't want anything to do with me. And then I started thinging...if that part was crap, what else that he said was crap? and that hurt. But it turns out that he though I didn't want anything to do with him and he didn't want to try to talk to me if I didn't want him. He is a sweet guy. I never told yall that. We had both been hurting so much, and now that we talked about it we really can have some kind of friendship now. Yes, its going to be hard to guard my heart. Because of course there are still feelings...and plans/day dreams I remember. But I'm finally getting to that place where its okay...I mean I can see all the other guys around me, and although I don't want anything more than friendship, I know that thinking I couldn't see myself with another guy was stupid. Although I still have some feelings for him, I can see how wrong "us" was. So much doesn't work between us. Hes a good guy though.

I have a duet to sing tomro. I'm so disappointed because I can hardly talk because I'm still sick. I had never been more excited about singing! and now I doubt I'll be able to. I'm really sad. I'm praying that by some chance the Lord will give me my voice back tomro...but I don't know. I just hope either way He'll be glorified.

I'm gonna head to bed!
goodnight! :)